Sunday

That moment when you finally rediscover/find your favorite dress
Missing all these weeks
In the pile of discards
Clothing and bedding
On your left side
The bed side that no one is using
Anymore

Hat moment whb you finally rediciver/fond tour favirite dress
Missing all those wrrks
In the pile of discards
Coorhing and bedding
On your lty side
The bed side that no one Is ising
Antmore

Tonight.

I go to work. I look like death but act like I don't. I lift heavy bags of extruded animal protein and binders.

The other moments I spent sitting on a chair.

We usually don't get a chair but my leg
So...

Later I buy a pink and red twisted rope for my dog at home. She lies on top of
It while chewing on
an empty

Aluminum
Can.

I make dinner:
Chicken fat
Tomatoes
Beer

I watch the spreading thing
Going on with my
Leg

And Lori

Traces a circle around it
So that
We can watch it overcome its perimeters

Will I run out of blood?

June One

Two days ago I fell into a ravine. Something about falling, exposing blood and torn flesh mixed with dirt brings back memories of childhood like nothing else can. I am still young. I can still fall and get cut up. The resulting scrape was fairly large but stopped bleeding very quickly. I walked home slightly self conscious about it and the grass stains on the back of my pants. I washed it with orange soap in a lather. By the next day a red rash was growing around it and a swell. By nightfall it was becoming painful to walk and off to emergency I went. Doctor's consult: Rapidly spreading skin infection, wicked antibiotics. I had to start them immediately. The nurse handed me two horse pills and a paper cup of water. I am still young. Still young enough to visit the ER in every town in which I am living. It should begin to subside in 24 hours.

Last month I was bitten by a dog.

There is this constant
heaviness and pressure
in the chest

I think I know what it is now
my heart gets bigger every day

Puppies

There are
some really, really bad things that happen in life and then there are
puppies
you can be hurt so very, very terribly and then you come across an amazing bundle of
puppies
they're on the lawn at your friendly local
kennel
and they're frolicking on the grass (one of the only times it is fitting anymore to use the word "frolic"
it just suits these
puppies
to an absolute frigging t).

And when you climb one leg at a time and over the fence
oh it is so amazing to be one
hundred
percent
covered in
puppies.

"There is something so fantastic about puppy smell" I yell across the field and
he yells back
"I know, the greatest". Some people just really get it---right away.

Puppies pulling down on the skirt that I bought because it seemed to fit
that downtown aesthetic
I was going for at the time
But of course, there is very little need for downtown sensibilities
when you're standing in the middle of nowhere

Just sky in all directions
and a falling down barn behind you
and there are five little souls wriggling around you
each destined for an airplane ride to a far-away family somewhere
but for right now and for just these twenty minutes you are their entire world
and being.

And for you, for anyone else
Twenty minutes can absolutely repair any multitude of sorrows.

Pink

Yesterday I had this idea
about the way that I felt
shedding tears in embrace

Because on the way to somewhere I saw a
raccoon innocent and massacred on the side of the highway

I passed in my car-- upon reflection, a death machine itself
there is something so violent
about the way that I drive.

The sight of the animal, brutal
on the roadside
its various insides coming out of its mouth
pink and round and long, and tangled
I thought
in my self pity
that's just the way that I feel right now
With all my insides coming up and out
My feelings choking in my throat

And I shared this with a friend
More an acquaintance
who says "how macabre"
And we left it

Today there is a small changing:
A very small changing but
I see life
A life much better
after all
now and then
And you can put it away

Five Year Engagement

I really like Emily Blunt, I could probably watch her in any film and I've loved Jason Segal ever since Freaks and Geeks. Thus, I enjoyed this movie. I saw it with my mom and we sat in the almost front row. I asked how she liked it and she said "It's different." And by the end she said "I like this movie more now". That's probably because SPOILER ALERT: it has a happy ending.

Alison Brie is also very good and has a stellar British accent and she and Emily Blunt have an awesome scene where they speak like Elmo and Cookie Monster, respectively.

Go and SEE IT.